In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size
6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its
99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that? "And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

__________________________
This Useless Post Was Brought To You By Infernal Shadow

Power corrupts. Absolute power is even more fun

HA



























Ha




























ha

__________________________
Reflect upon your present blessings
of which every man has many
Accept your past misfortunes
of which all men have some


Donated 35.2 million troops and 11 million Iron
towards IDG winning round 26

Er, what is an HMO?????

__________________________
This is not war, this is pest control.
You are superior to us in one respect... you are better at dieing!

Health Maintenance Organization -
Basically hospitals and insurance owned by the same people, so they can let people die if it isn't profitable because the procedures cost too much.

I've read that joke before, and it made me laugh the first time.

__________________________
Nothing can stop the SWARM!

In memory of the Underdogs.

LOL, that joke is good.

__________________________
Ice doesnt melt, Fire freezes.

Leader of US Confederation

Nah, toasted bread with garlic and salt is the best

__________________________
Space Cowboy.
Pray Zygimantas and Warp!
Burn indolatry and idolatrous things! Zygin!
Ars longa, vita brevis.
Viltis - durniu motina.
Curvus piscem curve natat.
Eina kakot tas baras, nor ma irgi patinka spirituoti gerimai kartais

Lol, class.

__________________________
00:01:23 | Griffin Vengance has been defeated by Shadow Stalker.

Proof that nagging really does work!

Needless to say, I know where to turn for a good laugh

__________________________
Dont underestimate us, that would be a mistake. In war there is no second chances, and every mistake is a victory for your opponent.

-Former New Players' Forum Moderator
-Veteran of Shadow Industries
-Forever the Leader of The Maxwell Brigade

Thanks. I had a good night sleep thanks to that urm, boring joke.

__________________________
Move like a shadow...

Strike like a snake...

that was funny

__________________________
AiDG


"yeah but im a wise dumb ass"
-Shadow Stalker

who ever said 3rd times a charm has never met me :P

*meat loaf playing in background*
but 2 out of 5 aint bad

__________________________
This Useless Post Was Brought To You By Infernal Shadow

Power corrupts. Absolute power is even more fun