Student Suspended Over
Suspected Use of PHP
By Brian Briggs

Topeka, KS - High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP.

"A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked," said Principal Clyde Thurlow. "We're not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB."

Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children's school, and are demanding the school do something. "We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds," said irate parent Carol Blessing. "School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP."

In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs.

Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, "I don't know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!"

PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit http://www.php.net.

__________________________
AKA ED

damn that is not to far away from me

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still comming back for more punishment

isnt that the funniest shit youve ever heard?

__________________________
AKA ED

wat is it?

__________________________
Nothing can stop me.......

Shikshiena Jrs

PHP is a programming language... a very popular one at that

__________________________
AKA ED

It is used to help develope websites

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The Law will find you.

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General Forum and Diplomacy Mod

so is that a joke or for real?

__________________________
Nothing can stop me.......

Shikshiena Jrs

a joke lol

__________________________
When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty.
Member of Shadow Industries
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that is quite funny

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whether you like it or not.
My services are free,
but ask and you shall rot.
For if the opportunity arise,
you will be in surprise,
at the words that come out all joking aside.

Life Is A Joke....Take It That Way.

I had a friend in HS that got suspended for talking about using C++ in class. Aparentlky the teacher thought it was also a drug and the principle was dumb enough to suspend her without even looking into it. They finnaly figured out how bad they screwed up when a bunch of female teachers were bragging about it in the teachers lounge infront of the Visual Communications teacher.. who gave them a major bitch-talk and advised the principle to lift her suspension before her parents decide to sue the school.

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-God of OverKill.
-Servant of Oblivion,
-Assassin of the Swarm.

lol, I love usin VB

__________________________
When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty.
Member of Shadow Industries
Insurgency